Jon Fortenbury

Writer. Human being. And probably the future husband of Zooey Deschanel.


I’m an Austin-based freelance writer and human being. I’ve written for The Atlantic, USA Today, Forbes, Playboy, Huffington Post and a bunch of other namedrop-worthy places. I find stick bugs to be a hilarious transition in evolution and am sincerely convinced I’ll marry Zooey Deschanel if I mention her in enough writer bios.

More than all that, though, there are 5 things you really need to know about me upfront:

  1. I still listen to Bright Eyes religiously, despite being older than 19.
  2. I’m from Las Vegas, so what happens in Vegas, gets brought up at family reunions.
  3. I’m clinically addicted to Nutella.
  4. I got published at age 10.
  5. I hate lists of 4 and will do whatever possible to avoid them.

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